i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
