Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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