remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
