I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
did i just pee glitter
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
