I wish I could punch you in the face.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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