he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
