I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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