My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Someone came in the potted fern
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize