I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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