They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
that may or may not have been my penis.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
