I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
