i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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