he wants to bone in the snuggie
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize