This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
