we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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