Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
