Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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