Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
