I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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