worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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