I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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