At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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