we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So many bounce houses so little time
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?