Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.