just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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