Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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