standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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