I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
