This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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