The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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