One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
