The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
