my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
