That reminds me...we need to get swords
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
