And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm both gender and math confused
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