just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
