I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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