"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
