At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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