I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
