Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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