Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
