One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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