No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize