I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
