You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
