i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
