i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
