I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
