you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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