dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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