I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
