never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
