On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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